The Power of Grief
One of the saddest days of my life was the day that my father ended his struggle with cancer.
Initially there was the relief that he would no longer suffer, followed by the acceptance that there was no other answer for him. They had done all that they could, and his life cycle was complete.
But what was the most shocking was once reality set in, no matter that I knew this was his path, I experience an all encompasing grief that hit me at the core of my being. Logically I could accept that his life was over, but I was surprised by the truth and rawness when I shared with my husband, "I never knew you could be so sad". And I meant it; never before had I felt so empty or had I experienced grief so intensely.
Have you ever had a similar experience or situation that caused you heartache to such a great degree that you don’t know how you will go on? Perhaps you felt things would never be the same again. Maybe you were unsure of how you were going to get through it all. No matter where you are or what you have gone through, grieving isn't easy. Grief is a process and giving yourself permission to go through that process is necessary to live an emotionally healthy life.
What you may not realize in the moment is that there is also power in grief?
Learning to not only deal with unhappiness and sorrow but to grow from it, is a skill that will serve you throughout your life. Too often, people feel the need to pretend that grief doesn't exist. Or they pretend that they have already grieved. Grieving is not only ok, but it is essential to your well being. Additionally, not allowing yourself to grieve can actually cause more harm to yourself and those around you.
So what can you do to handle grief in a positive healthy way? How can you develop the skills you need to come out the other side more powerful than where you started?
First off, you must allow yourself to experience life as it is in that moment.
If you feel like crying, then cry.
If you feel like being by yourself, do so.
And if you need support or comfort, ask for it.
The single most important thing that you can do when a situation arises is to allow yourself to feel and experience your emotions as they occur. Your emotions help you gauge what's going on inside yourself and assist you in choosing what actions to take. They are your guidance system that will lead you to where you want to go. By listening to your feelings, you have the opportunity to work through your true thoughts, release those that don't serve you.
When you allow yourself to experience your emotions and then deal with what comes up, it can be very powerful. You will learn more about yourself, find the truth in your own life and move forward a little every day. By taking charge of your life through understanding your emotions, you give yourself time to adjust to your new situation, as well as find the tools that will help you handle and move through the process of grief.
~Judy Davis, is a motivational speaker, author, mental wellness mentor and network marketing leader as well as a military spouse and caregiver. Judy’s books Right Side Up and Warning Signs: Is Your Teen at Risk are go to resources for families. Her website is filled with tips, inspiration and resources for those looking to optimize their mental health and wellness. Connect with Judy at DavisInspired.com